no title

home, again .. everyday  .. it’s a loop that never stops .. i feel trapped in the same mood .. time is passing .. it’s not a cycle .. but nothing new happens .. and i know i’m loosing time .. last night had a reminder .. some girl hits  the car i was in .. a small accident .. that was new .. and also a trigger .. well no one got hurt ..

as i said, i’m home again .. just entered .. is empty .. outside is cold .. inside is hot .. i wanted to open the window .. but i’m to lazy to do that .. my parrots were waiting .. they were hungry .. i gave them some food .. they seem ok for now .. at least they were waiting for me .. yeah .. my parrots and I ..

i’ve turned the tv ok .. got the laptop in the middle of the bed and start thinking … and typing .. some people are dancing on tv .. a contest or something .. they are “gathering” funds for .. mostly for them (at least this is my oppinion) .. who cares … the tv is on just for the noise it makes ..

hmm .. i finaly got it .. no one is reading my blog .. well i guess this is what i wanted .. maybe i’m writing just for you .. or just for me alone .. and we are both visiting these pages whenever we remember .. and usually is nothing new

i have to do something, i don’t feel ok with what is happening to me .. i find myself thinking of the future, on what it’s going to happen .. but those are just dreams .. i’m wasting my life dreaming .. hehe, i’m a dreamer babe .. yes, i did .. i tried .. and failed .. yea, failed better .. i’m good at failing .. i don’t know .. i always say the wrong thing .. or the right thing to late .. but i still dare to dream

yes u do, i miss you .. i’m happy when we talk .. thaw sometimes i cant find the words .. and there comes silence .. and then one of us have to leave .. it’s awkward when that happens .. but i’ve promised myself to try .. and fail .. i get mad when i know that others are closer to you and i wish that  i could be one of them .. but i’m not .. and probably i never will be

a song started in background .. this is what tv is for .. nice song, i’ll post it in the end

so .. i know .. clear all and start from the beginning .. i know .. someday

as i said, i’m home again .. is empty .. outside is cold .. inside is not worm .. i’m typing thinking of posting this or not .. but it’s easy for me to write .. i’ll get lost if i’d try to say this to u ..

btw .. the song ..

enervated

enervated. Tired, exhausted, fatigued, wearied, weary suggest a condition in which a large part of one’s energy and vitality has been consumed. One who is tired has used up a considerable part of his or her bodily or mental resources: to feel tired at the end of the day. One who is exhausted is completely drained of energy and vitality, usually because of arduous or long-sustained effort: exhausted after a hard run. One who is fatigued has consumed energy to a point where rest and sleep are demanded: feeling rather pleasantly fatigued. One who is wearied has been under protracted exertion or strain that has gradually worn out his or her strength: wearied by a long vigil. Weary suggests a more permanent condition than wearied: weary of struggling against misfortunes.

all in one: tired

why ?

• trying and not succeeding
• feeling deserted
• cause i cant “just walk away”
• “tired” of waiting
• [hmm .. I've started this blog by saying i don't have the time .. now it feels like I'm running in circles]
• because i want more

Plans

• none, yet

Party mood

well .. why not ?! )

join the party!

disappointed

“disappointed” i think this is the right word. i tried with “pissed off”, “nervous” … didn’t worked.

maybe i was expecting to much from people .. i tend to do that; but what i got in return is way to low, and i mean WAAAAAY TO LOW… from what i could imagine. maybe i was to enthusiastic .. maybe i dream to much.

i don’t understand .. i sometimes I’m asking if it’s only me ..

trying to make a list …

.. no, no list is better.. maybe some ppl will read it .. i don’t want to blame anyone .. (I’m kidding myself .. i WANT to blame, but i don’t see the point right now ) i might care to much .. and i hate being asked “why r u upset”, especially when you know why.

i need to get out of this state of mind .. or I’m going to screw things up more than they are. i was offering something, and YES i did expected something in return. (no, i didn’t get it)

[... wth am i wrinting this for ...]

Honestly ok

Hmm .. it seems like i havent posted in a while, i guess i’m too busy lately. Lol, beeing busy started this blog .. kinda funny to remember.

i’ll do this later … now i’m missing my friends .. or at lest some of them.

Btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY hunny !!!

get a new one or quit your job

recently I found a nice article on the net that raised a few questions to me:

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

Just for fun I recently asked Erin, “Now that the kids are in summer school, don’t you think it’s about time you went out and got yourself a job?  I hate seeing you wallow in unemployment for so long.”

She smiled and said, “Wow.  I have been unemployed a really long time.  That’s weird…  I like it!”

Neither of us have had jobs since the ’90s (my only job was in 1992), so we’ve been self-employed for quite a while.  In our household it’s a running joke for one of us to say to the other, “Maybe you should get a job, derelict!”

It’s like the scene in The Three Stooges where Moe tells Curly to get a job, and Curly backs away, saying, “No, please… not that!  Anything but that!”

It’s funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it’s time to go out and get a job.  But like many things the masses do, just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.  In fact, if you’re reasonably intelligent, getting a job is one of the worst things you can do to support yourself.  There are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.

bad karma

Today i feel like shit. Nothing is working. It’s like life is going in reverse.

I’m so f-king boored. It’s not like i dont have any chalanges .. it’s just that nothing good happens.
Yea, you might say “it’s one of those days” .. but “those days” keep on coming back lately.

I got shit load of work that needs to be done … by me .. and nobody can really help me on that.

I’ve started to hate when i “hear” myself complaining … i have to find a way to get over these.

New Beginnings

Fight for Kisses

About friends

“Majoritatea prietenilor sunt ca umbra. Nu apar decat atunci cand este soare.”

rough translation:  ”Most friends are like shadows. They are around you only when the sun shines.”

original post here.

on the same subject :

“A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.”

  – Jane Austen